Well yesterday I answered the phone and it was a mans voice, he asked for Michael, my heart stopped for a minute, I had to tell someone else that my son had passed away......I HATE that, it still breaks my heart even more, and then I have to cry for a minute, I miss my son sooo much, I don't think I can ever really express exactly how much I do miss him, and I don't think anyone will REALLY ever comprehend unless you have lost someone THAT close to you. I used to think I knew how someone felt after losing someone, but I didn't, NOW I do.
Well Michael's brother is home, I don't know how he is dealing with the loss of his only brother, and I'm afraid to ask, cause I'll just lose it again....
OK but anyway, enough of that, I gotta tell y'all, that when Michael was little oh he was so loving, he could never have just one kiss, he had to have bunches, lol, and no one had a smile like him, his little eyes just sparkled, and still did even when he was older, that is probably the ONLY thing their "father" ever gave them was their eyes.....
I remember one day Michael was outside playing and I was out there too, but I was going back in the house, at that time I was a smoker, so I threw my cigarette on the ground and walked inside, something told me to look out the window, I did, and what did I see?...Michael picked up my cigarette and was fixin to stick it in his mouth, I screamed and he jumped, lol...it was funny, the way he jumped.
Michael was also always scared, whenever we would give him a bath, he was so afraid that he was gonna go down the drain, not sure why, lol, but it was cute in a way....
You know, he had a ton of awesome and amazing and TRUE friends, but it was the people he started hanging out with just a few short months before he died, that led to his death, and I will ALWAYS believe that if he had not met them, OR if he had stopped being friends with them, he would still be with us, and I will NEVER think anything different, so please please please, choose your friends every carefully and kids if you are reading this, LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS PLEASE!
well I can feel I good cry coming on, and I need to stop writing until tomorrow, this is getting to me today, but I really hope if you are reading this, that you enjoy it......
I'm so glad to see you are doing this girl!! You need to get those feelings out every day sometimes. It will help you deal with the loss your so obviously feeling. And it's so normal for you to grieve in this way. We are here, I am here, for you my friend. I'm so glad it happened to me first and not you, cause I can identify with your pain....and maybe answer a question if you ever have one....I love you dearly, and always will, you are like my baby sister. I think God got mixed up and put one of us in the wrong family, cause you are just like my sister. I'm as close to you as I am my own flesh and blood. And since I've known you nearly all my life, it makes it even more so! If you ever need me, you know....YOU KNOW....I am a phone call away...anytime....day or night!! Love you girl, love your writing, it looks and sounds real good!!!
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